Uncaged
by Fine Eyes
Summary: A sequel to Caged. Éowyn finally finds love in Minas Tirith, but not with Aragorn. An Éowyn and Faramir romance under dramatically different circumstances and with life altering consequences. AU.
1. Cold

Uncaged

By Fine Eyes

Summary: A sequel to Caged. Éowyn finally finds love in Minas Tirith, but not with Aragorn. An Éowyn and Faramir romance under dramatically different circumstances and with life altering consequences. AU.

***

Author's Notes:  

This is a sequel to my AU story, Caged. You probably should read the first story before you read this.

A warning--- this is an Alternate Universe fanfiction. Things are going to be different. Characters will be put in situations that Tolkien never put them in, therefore the authors' interpretation had to take over at this point. The driving force in writing this fanfiction was this: what if, despite what had changed, destiny still brought Éowyn and Faramir together? To make the world 'right', would the characters do something 'wrong'? Keep that in mind as you read.

I wrote this story with a co-author over the course of a number of months. The story was the result of many e-mails and a whole lot of problem solving and the end result is this AU. We each wrote part of the story and then sent it to the other person to write the next part. In the end, the story reflects both of our writing styles and talents, and I hope you enjoy it. 

***

Cold

The first stars began to appear in the velvet sky, and Éowyn began to think Aragorn was not coming. Standing upon the walls of Minas Tirith, she turned her eyes towards the east, waiting for the signs of his arrival, but none came. Disappointed and more than a little hurt, Éowyn turned back towards the city and began to make her silent way through the gardens.

Another midsummer day had come and gone, and Éowyn was alone. Aragorn had left over a fortnight before to visit Ithilien, and it now seemed would not return in time to celebrate the anniversary of their marriage. Éowyn had been waiting all day for the news of the King's arrival, but in vain. In the last few hours of quiet desperation she had gone to the walls, hoping to see him rushing home to be with her. On nights like this, after the expectation of being in his arms only to be alone once again, Éowyn felt she could not longer stand the silence. On nights like this, she was ready to ride to Edoras and leave her dreary responsibilities behind. But she never did. Instead she wiped away the icy tears that welled up in her grey eyes and swallowed the pain that sometimes threatened to overwhelm her.

The moonlight filled the garden with ethereal light. Moving among the blooms like a ghost, Éowyn focused on every blossom, every petal, as if attempting to gain strength and vitality from their natural beauty. Her skirts trailing on the stone walkway, Éowyn made her way to the center of the garden, to the place where Aragorn had first asked her to become his wife. It was now a sacred place to her, the one place she could go and feel the beating of her heart increase and the warmth return to her cheeks. And there she sat, a quiet smile upon her face, an ivory finger toying with the ring around her finger. 

"I thought I would find you here." Startled, Éowyn turned around to see Aragorn coming up behind her. She had almost forgotten how handsome his face was in the moonlight, but she noticed also the fatigue and strain that were etched into his features. He placed his hands upon her shoulders and leaned down to kiss her, and for a few moments she felt as if his kiss could undo all of the pain she had ever felt. But as soon as his lips left her mouth the cold chill of loneliness returned and Éowyn felt as if a great distance separated them.

"For a moment I thought you were not coming." Her voice was filled with a bitterness she did not mean to feel, and Aragorn sighed.

"I am sorry. We were delayed in Ithilien for longer than I expected. But I would not miss this day for the world, you know that." Standing, Éowyn put her arm in his and began to accompany him back inside. There was no need for more words to be spoken between them. They had reached a point in their lives where mutual misunderstanding was the only way in which they operated and further debate was fruitless. Aragorn was her husband, not her love, and Éowyn had long ago begun to understand that. It was comfort enough to lean onto him in the growing dark of night and see the joy in his eyes as he held their son in his arms. It would have to be enough.

Once they were safe in their private apartments, Aragorn said, "There is something I have decided on the way back from Ithilien which I would like to discuss with you."__

_What is the discussion_, Éowyn thought, _if you have already decided?_ She nodded and sat next down at the table that had been spread with their meal.

His eyes searched her face and Éowyn had the distinct feeling that she was about to be hurt. "I am going to go to Annúminas to oversee the rebuilding of the city and also to visit the hobbits. I shall remain there for a number of months and should be back before the winter." His voice trailed off and he waited for her reaction. But Éowyn was still processing his words. Did he mean that he was leaving again? And without her? The questions must have shown on her face because Aragorn continued, "Do not misunderstand me. My greatest wish is that you would accompany me. But in your current condition… I do not think it would be wise, Éowyn."

Éowyn's had went instinctively to her abdomen, where she had until recently carried a child. A dull pain in her heart began to grow, as all of her fear and disappointment began to resurface, hitting her like waves upon rocks. "Aragorn, I…" her voice was a weak whisper, and she had neither the will nor strength to continue. Her eyes, now filled with tears, searched her husband's face for the comfort she so desperately needed. He put his hand over hers, and Éowyn felt the coldness of his ring upon her skin. The tears retreated back into her eyes, and she willed herself into a state of numbness once again. She did not want anyone to see her vulnerability, least of all the man who she respected and revered above all others.

"Éowyn, please try to understand." She would have liked to say the same thing to him, but it was neither the time nor place. Her duty now was calm acceptance, realizing that Aragorn was right and that she would be better off safe in the stone coldness of Minas Tirith.

"When do you leave?" she asked, the hard edge returning to her voice.

"As soon as Lord Faramir arrives from Ithilien to take over my duties." Aragorn continued to look at her as if he was afraid she would do some harm to herself, and his concern made her angry--- not at him but at herself. Why could she not perform the one duty he expected of her as his wife? She realized suddenly that her meal was cold and that the hour was late, and her mind longed for the comfort of sleep.

"Will you come to bed, my lord?" Éowyn asked, knowing the answer in advance. There were very few nights that Aragorn did not have some pressing matter to attend to. Éowyn was often asleep when he slipped into bed next to her, and still sleeping when he slipped out in the mornings. She could not find fault in him as a ruler, but she did not find him beside her where she needed and wanted him to be. She did not even wait for his answer to say, "Then I shall see you tomorrow, for I must retire." She rose from her seat and he stood up. Taking her hand in his, he drew her close and kissed her forehead.

"Happy anniversary," he said quietly, sensing that the night had held little joy for his wife.

Éowyn made a pathetic attempt at a smile, before realizing that it had been only four years ago that she had been the happiest woman alive.

***

Éowyn gripped the wall with both hands, as if afraid she might fall over the edge. Or jump. But the cold, unemotional thoughts in her head assured her that any emotion Aragorn had stirred up the previous night was now safely repressed, somewhere deep inside of her. The sun beat down upon her as she strained her eyes, watching with silent patience much as she had done the previous night, only this time for someone else. Lord Faramir was expected from Ithilien at any moment, coming to Minas Tirith to relieve the King of his duties during his stay in the North. Éowyn had come to watch for him, partially to get away from the preparations that seemed to be perpetually taking place back in the city, partially out of curiosity. It had been almost a year since Faramir had left the city for Ithilien, and with him Éowyn had lost the only person in Minas Tirith who seemed to look upon her with real understanding. She had never realized how warm his glance was upon her until it had left.

She saw the first riders of the party making their way to the city long before she could make out which one of the company was the Prince, sitting atop a grey horse, outfitted in riding attire. Trumpets rang in her ears as the call was taken up of his arrival, and her heart suddenly began to flutter with excitement. Not entirely understanding the mixture of joy and apprehension she felt in her heart, Éowyn began walking briskly back to the hall, where she knew her husband would meet the Steward as soon as he arrived.

Her footsteps echoed in the corridor leading to the great hall. She could already hear the jovial laughing of Lord Faramir mingling with that of her husband.

"Ah, Éowyn," Aragorn said as she approached them. He put his strong arm around her shoulders, and looked with wonder at the smile upon her face. Éowyn did not exactly know why she was smiling; guessing only that the sunshine had lifted her spirits. "Lord Faramir has just told me of the beautiful woman he spotted standing upon the walls when her rode into the city. And now I see her for myself." Éowyn's eyes met Faramir's and for a moment she reflected on the grave tenderness that she found in them.

"The hour of my departure finally arrives. I had left complete instructions for you with my advisors, Faramir, and I have no doubt that I am leaving my duties in very capable hands. If you would accompany me to my study, I would like to show you just a few things that I need you to see to while I am gone." The two men began to turn towards the door before they realized that Éowyn was still standing there. Aragorn leaned down to kiss her, and as his lips met hers Éowyn was suddenly aware of Faramir's eyes upon her. The kiss felt like ice.

"Goodbye, my love." Aragorn still held her in his arms, but Éowyn heard his voice as if at a great distance. A strange feeling had entered her heart that Éowyn could not identify, nor could she ignore. Her eyes met Faramir's before he turned to leave the room, and Éowyn refocused on the face of her husband.

"I love you," she said, but her voice sounded hollow, and when she finally withdrew from Aragorn's embrace and watched him follow Faramir down the corridor, she felt the chill in her heart slowly changing to doubt. And for the first time in many years, a tear trickled down Éowyn's cheek.

***

Long days had passed, and finally it had been a fortnight since Aragorn had rode out from Minas Tirith. Éowyn could not recall how she had passed the many solitary hours that had led her to where she was, sitting silently among the lilies of the garden. She did know that the sun had set many hours before, and the darkness that enveloped her made her feel calm and at peace. Her mind, clouded for so long by the pain of regret, was suddenly clear and untroubled, and she breathed easily.

_Strange that it should take abandonment to make my bitterness melt away_, she thought, amazed at the bizarre behavior of her emotions, but not unhappy with the change.

"May I join you?" a voice said, and as she raised her eyes she saw the Steward of Gondor standing before her, the moonlight shining through his hair and lighting his face in ethereal light. Éowyn was about to rise when he lowered himself to the ground, making a seat for himself next to her on the grass. She smiled at his informality, and almost did not know what to make of their close proximity to each other. It was as near as she had ever been to him, and she could not ignore the energy his closeness created.

Minutes passed in silence, and soon Éowyn had shifted her focus to the full moon in the starry sky. She could feel Faramir's eyes upon her, but she was not made tense or anxious by his stare. Indeed it made her feel peaceful to have his kind gaze directed toward her.

"This garden was planned by my mother, Finduilas," Faramir finally said, quietly and almost to himself. "She loved lilies. I often think that it was this garden that kept her alive all those long years." Éowyn could hear the sadness in his voice, and could recognize that same sadness in her own heart. There were no words she needed to say to tell him that; she sensed that he had long ago began to know and understand the loss and pain which she experienced.

"I have often wondered if you would share her fate." The words seemed to come from the night itself, and Éowyn felt as if she had heard them many times before in her own heart. Finduilas of Dol Amroth was like a ghost that haunted Éowyn. Perhaps it was her spirit that had often led her to the gardens in times when she felt her overburdened heart would cease to beat. Éowyn turned to face Faramir and found his eyes staring back at her, shining in the reflected moonbeams of the clear sky. The graveness in his features, while serious, was very different from the sternness of Aragorn's looks.

"Do you remember her well?" Éowyn asked.

"I remember her smile, her touch… her love." His voice was full of memory, and Éowyn was suddenly brought back to memories of her own mother. She could still remember Théodwyn's smell, the way it felt to touch her soft skin.

"I often wonder where I would be were my mother still alive. Whether I would have made the same choices." _Perhaps I would have better known my heart_, Éowyn thought, but she could not bring herself to say it. Despite the honesty between them at this moment, Éowyn still guarded her heart.

Faramir sighed and leaned back, his full face turned towards the sky. "There are many things in this world which may have been different, and many things which we would change. But I would not trade these stars, this moon, this night for all the jewels on the earth." Éowyn returned his penetrating gaze, and for a moment lost track of all time. Suddenly they heard the footsteps of a sentinel guard upon the path, and the moment was forever lost. Rising almost in the same moment, Éowyn and Faramir looked at each other once more before moving slowly in separate directions, Faramir towards the tower of Minas Anor, and Éowyn to the silence of her bedchamber and a deep dreamless sleep.


	2. Warm

Warm

The sun poured through the golden hair of the lady lying in the bed.  The lady turned her face, the sun hit it, and her eyes opened.  For one of the first times since she had come to Minas Tirith, her face looked as warm as the sun upon it.  Éowyn sat up, without the realization that she had a smile upon her face.  She knew this day would be like all the others...without Aragorn.  She wondered why it did not matter.

"Will you take breakfast alone today, your majesty?"  Her handmaid asked as she dressed Éowyn.

"I suppose."

The handmaid hesitated, the look on her face said she wanted to say something.

Éowyn looked at her, "Out with it!  I am a maiden of Rohan, so forgive my bluntness, but I for once am feeling happy in the morning, and want nothing to ruin it!"

The woman looked surprised, then said, "I was just thinking that the King is so rarely ever here...many of us have been commenting that it is a wonder you had a child at all!"

Éowyn couldn't help but nod.  "You are right, he is rarely here.  But, from now on, I will no longer care.  If I become the Steel Lily, the Ice Maiden of Gondor, I do not care.  I am the Queen, so others will just have to tolerate it!"

"Maybe the King will be home more if you become this way."

Éowyn stood up, turning toward the windows. "Not even his presence will appease me."  She said this quietly, wondering at her own heart.  She looked down at the many levels of the city.  She saw a huge, lavishly decorated window.  Curious, she looked closer.  There was a crest just above the window.  The White Tree.  Seven stars...it was the King's Office.  An expression of surprise passed Éowyn's face.  She never knew she could look into his office from her window.  It wouldn't matter to now, not with him gone.  Faramir was occupying the office.  Suddenly, an idea came into her head.  She turned, looking for a handmaid.  The room was really too large for her, she did not see a reason why it needed to be so big.  She used less than half of the space it gave.

A handmaid came into the room, carrying a floral arrangement for Éowyn's mantelpiece.

"Do you require anything, My Queen?"

"Yes, Faramir."

Éowyn realized she had not said this correctly, as she looked at the expression of shock on her maiden's face.

"You require the Steward?"

She quickly regained her composure.  "Yes.  I would like him for breakfast."

The handmaid's eyes widened even more.

Éowyn sighed, sitting down.  "Forgive me, none of my words are leaving my lips the way they are intended too.  I would like to invite the Steward to share breakfast with me this morning.  I enjoy his presence, it is quite soothing."

The handmaid nodded, "Yes, everyone in Gondor enjoys being around the Steward.  He seems to have a natural gift with making others feel comfortable, at ease.  The ladies of Gondor are all very happy about this, as we know he has not yet taken a wife...dear me, I am saying too much.  I beg forgiveness, Your Highness, and I will send a messenger to give the Steward his invitation."

Éowyn nodded.  "Thank you."  The handmaiden left.  She had never realized that everyone felt this way around Faramir.  She also had never realized that all the ladies of Gondor were looking at him as though he was a fair prospect.  Yet, he was.  Tall, smart, one of the most handsome, kind, gentle, a Steward no less!

Éowyn quickly walked out of the room.  Why would it matter to her if he married someone else?  She was happily married.  Rather, she had been in the beginning.  The honeymoon ended quickly.  She should be content with her husband being the king, having a son.  She should be content.  Yet, she was not.

She walked into the dining hall, and saw that Faramir was already there.  The feeling of anxiety left her as though it had never been.  He smiled at her, and Éowyn was unable to keep from looking into his eyes and smiling back.

"You came quickly, my lord."

He grinned.  "I actually was already on my way to have breakfast and I intercepted the invitation on the way.  Care for some fruit?"

Éowyn sat down, her face lit up, a smile widening into a laugh.  She accepted the apple, eating it happily.

"What are you going to be doing today, Éowyn?"

"I plan to spend some time with my son.  He is mostly cared for both my maidens, and I rarely get a chance to see him."

Faramir smiled warmly.  "I'm certain that you will have a delightful day, then."

She found her eyes locking with his.  She felt uncomfortable for the briefest moment, and then, she felt at ease.

"I am certain I will."

***

Éowyn hesitated before entering the nursery. She had very rarely spent time with her son, and she was filled with guilt. As much as she loved Barahir, she could not forget the pain and sadness that his birth had caused. For a long time after his birth, Éowyn was not certain that she would ever recover, physically or mentally, from becoming a mother. Customs had insisted that she hand him over to caretakers, and as much as she wished she had been outraged by this intrusion, she was actually relieved. Lately she had visited him often enough with Aragorn, but had always been distant to the now growing boy. Without Aragorn and with a growing confusion in her heart, Éowyn entered the room.

"Mama!" Barahir cried, running to his mother and stretching his arms around her. Kneeling, Éowyn embraced the small child and her maternal love flowed over. Her anxiety vanished at the sight of his sparkling grey eyes and boyish brown curls and the love that he so easily felt for her made her feel at ease. 

"How are you, my son?" Éowyn asked, sitting down upon a chair and placing him upon her lap. His features favored Aragorn, and sometimes Éowyn felt as if Barahir was the closest Éowyn would get to Aragorn's pure form, without the obligations and anxieties of his kingship. He would grow up smart, strong, good, and kind, a man worthy of being the heir to the throne of Gondor.  He would meet some lovely maiden, someone who could accept the life she was living.  Accept the life of being like a statue in the court.  She was the Queen, but she only felt like it in name.  She did not know it she would ever feel like a queen.

"Has Papa come home yet?" Barahir looked up at his mother when he asked this, and his questioning eyes seemed to penetrate Éowyn's mind. She felt suddenly as if, though only a child, Barahir could sense the troubles between his parents, and perhaps knew that Aragorn's absence had changed his mother.

"No Barahir, he will not be back for a while yet. He is visiting the Hobbits, my dear, and rebuilding the great city of Annúminas. He is needed to the north. Lord Faramir has come to take over his duties in Minas Tirith until he is back."

"Mama, do you like Lord Faramir?"

Éowyn's heart leaped at this question. _Surely the boy could not…no_, Éowyn thought_, it is a simple question._ "I do, my son. He is a very noble man and one of your father's closest friends." She paused, staring out the window at the sunshine filled day outside. "Why do you ask?"

"I like him, too, Mama. He told me about the stars last night when Andreth and I met him in the gardens. He's very smart… and nice! He told me I would be as good a King as Papa one day. Do you think so?"

"Yes my son." Éowyn's voice was distant, as her mind wandered. As much as she wanted to ignore this strangeness in her heart, she could not. And her son's words only made her feel more conflicted, more confused than ever before.

Andreth entered as quietly as a shadow and Éowyn only noticed after a few moments that she was watching them. Aragorn had put her in charge of the young prince, and Éowyn thought with bitterness that Andreth was perhaps more of a mother to Barahir than she was. 

"Your majesty, Prince Barahir must be going to his tutor now." 

Barahir looked up at Éowyn. She could tell he wanted to stay with her, but also wanted to please Andreth. She forced a smile and said easily, "I will see you later, my son. Be good for Andreth." Barahir climbed down from her lap and went to Andreth.

"Barahir, clean yourself before lessons. I will be there in a moment to help you." Barahir left the room and Éowyn felt Andreth's cold stare upon her. Wondering what she wanted, Éowyn rose, not meeting Andreth's eyes.

"Your majesty," Andreth said as Éowyn turned to leave.

"Yes, Andreth?" Éowyn could not imagine what she had to say to her. But she was slightly alarmed with Andreth's forward manner. She was used to being removed from all reproach, all gossip and all exchange with the other women of Gondor, but Andreth's face made her believe this distance was about to be broken.

"I am sorry if I am overstepping boundaries, your majesty, but I feel I must speak." Éowyn nodded her head slightly. "It is Lord Faramir. There has been malicious talk about court concerning the amount of time you spend with him. I feel it is my duty to warn you that there are those who watch you and fabricate scandals. I would not want King Elessar to return to find his Queen's name blushed by rumors."

Éowyn could not believe her ears. She had not considered in the last few days that she was among others all the time. Her world seemed so lonely and solitary that she had never considered how her behavior might look from the outside. She was outraged and deeply ashamed at her conduct. How could she have been so foolish! How strange things must look! She realized suddenly that even then Andreth was waiting for a response.

"Of course it is nonsense. Thank you for alerting me, Andreth." 

"Perhaps it would be wise, your majesty, if you were to visit your brother in Rohan until the King returns."

"I shall consider it…that will be all." Andreth left the room as quietly as she had entered it, and Éowyn made her way to the gardens. She needed to clear her mind.

She walked briskly down the stone paths of the garden, hardly taking time to look around.

Suddenly she heard a throat clear, and turned around to see Faramir standing there.

"Faramir!  I thought you would be working."

He smiled as he stepped forward.  "I would, but I realized I wanted I break.  I've told Aragorn he does not pause to enjoy life enough."

She nodded.  "Nay, I rarely see him." His presence made her nervous after what she had just heard, but after a few moments in his gaze she had forgotten Andreth's warning. Her heart seemed to take over her senses, overpowering even her troubled mind.

"I know he does not spend enough time with you."  He said quietly.

"But, I love him anyway.  He is my husband.  I wanted to marry him since when I met him, before Mordor fell."  Éowyn said this all firmly, but she could see her own feelings, her own lack of confidence plainly on Faramir's face.  "He will be a good father, at least."  She muttered.

Faramir nodded quickly.  "Yes, he wished he knew his own father, so I know he is going to be there for Barahir."

"Both of us lost our fathers at a very young age…" She sat down, sadly.

"I might as well have lost mine."

She looked at him sharply.  "You are not like your father, Faramir.  There will never be a better man to be a father than you."

He laughed.  "I have to marry to have a child, Éowyn.  Perhaps I should leave you in charge of my personal matters from now on!"

She laughed as well.  How comfortable she felt talking with him like this!  She almost felt like she was back in Rohan, where they did not care for hiding words or masking feelings.  Faramir was naturally very open, very good at saying something he knew would be appropriate.  He could look into the heart...which was the only reason Éowyn was afraid to be around him.

For a moment, Éowyn almost felt that all the years had not passed, and that she now looked upon Faramir as Éowyn of Rohan, not as the Queen of Gondor. For a moment all the pain of the past years, her son and even her husband disappeared and she was alone with Faramir, alone for a moment in time. But the moment ended, and Éowyn, frightened at the direction her heart was taking her, gasped violently.

"What is it, my lady?" Faramir asked, ready to run for help.

"Oh it is nothing. I just… well I just now remembered that I left my embroidery in the library yesterday." Her excuse was pathetic. She knew Faramir saw right through it. But she needed to get away. "I must go get it before it is misplaced." She rushed away, feeling his eyes following her. She glanced back from the safety of the entranceway and recognized the same confusion and fear that she felt upon his features.

Faramir lingered in the garden for over an hour. He wondered how long he could go on like this.  He was not yet entirely sure how he felt, nor how she felt.  He saw that he made her smile when no one else, not even Aragorn.  Aragorn.  She was his wife.  She had his son.  Any feelings he might be starting to have, could not show.  But, he had to know.

He quickly walked toward the library.  He stopped, looking inside.  Éowyn was sitting quietly on a chair reading.  She was perfect.  Aragorn's wife, the mother of Aragorn's child, but yet Faramir's heart saw her only as a woman, and more than that as the woman he loved.  She suddenly put her book down and stood up, walking over to the open doors to the balcony.  The wind blew through her hair.  Almost in sync with the air, her head turned, here eyes looking right into his.  Her face was flushed, eyes flashing.

"May I come in?"  He asked quietly.

She nodded, unable to speak.  She swallowed visibly.  She wanted him to say something, but didn't want him to at the same time.

"Aragorn..." He hesitated, "should be home soon."

She nodded.  "Yes, he should.  I will be very glad to see him."

"As will I."

She felt like she would explode.  "Faramir, please speak plainly with me.  You are the only one who speaks so I feel at home.  I greatly need comfort right now."

He breathed in deeply.  "Please do not say that.  Let Aragorn be the one who makes you feel comfortable."

A tear sprang to her eye.  "I would like him to be."

He nodded.  "Then I will leave him to be as such.  He is your husband, you are his wife.  Let him make you happy."

He turned, and walked out of the room.

"He can not be!"  She called after him.  He turned slowly, looking at her.  She stood there, looking so fragile, so scared.

"Who, then?  Please, tell me."

"I can not."

"Then, I do not want to know."  He kept walking.

Éowyn ran after him.  "Faramir, you have to understand.  I cannot ruin my life.  This life, one which I have dreamed of having my entire childhood."

He turned his head to look at her.  Her heart ached at the look on his face.  "This life in which you are not happy.  This life in which you cry every night.  This life in which you might as well have died in Pelennor Fields."

She looked at him unhappily.  He saw right through her.

"I can not be around you anymore, Éowyn.  It is too hard for me."

"You are the only good thing in my life, Faramir!"

A tear ran down his cheek.  "I can not be the only good thing in your life when I am in love with you."

His words froze her.  She wanted him to say them, hoped he would say them.  He should not have said them.  Choking back her tears, she told him, "I am in love with you, Faramir."

He closed his eyes slowly.  When he looked at her again, his eyes were full of tears.  "Which is exactly why we can never see each other again.  Good-bye, Éowyn.  Good bye, my fair Queen of Gondor."  He walked off.

She watched him walk away.  "Good bye, Faramir.  Good bye, my fair Prince of Ithilien."


	3. Heat

Heat

Faramir's looked out of the windows of his study and to the east. His spirit yearned for the beauty and peace of Ithilien, a place where he was not constantly confronted by what could never be his. His advisor's voices droned on about him, but all that he could hear was the bird outside the window, singing.

"My Lord Faramir?" Faramir snapped back to attention, his eyes resting finally on the stern faces of his advisors. The one now speaking had been one of his father's advisors, and his face reminded Faramir of the formality and duty instilled in the very heart of his father's generation. "My Lord Faramir, we have made all the necessary preparations for your departure."

"Thank you, I will be leaving this afternoon." His voice was deeply troubled, and he could tell by the looks on the his advisor's faces that he was not hiding it very well. Waving his hand, he dismissed them and one by one they left the room. But one remained. Rassener, one of the younger advisors, remained seated at the table, staring at Faramir.

"Yes, Lord Rassener?" The man had a sour look on his face as if he was deeply displeased with Faramir. Faramir had seen this look many times before on the face of his father, and the mere memory of his father's displeasure made his blood run cold.

"I wonder, my lord, that you leave with such speed when your duties should keep you here?" Rassener seemed to measuring his words with care and Faramir disliked his condescending tone. "Perhaps you would not be in such haste to leave, were Queen Éowyn to take a holiday to Edoras?" These words, spoken in a low tone, filled Faramir with anger. How dare this man presume to speak to him of the matters of his own heart? How dare he insinuate that… but it was true, and Faramir had not considered that there may be others who saw his growing affection for the Queen. 

His hesitation to answer made Rassener smile. "So it is true? My Lord Faramir, I will not remind you where you duty lies."

"Do not speak to me of duties! I have had enough lectures on my duty for a lifetime."

"Never the less, I have heard from my wife, Andreth, that the Queen may soon be departing for Edoras. If she were to leave then perhaps this banishment to Ithilien would not be necessary. And of course I am looking out for you interests, my Lord."

"I will look after myself. And if I were you I would not presume to meddle in my affairs, or the affairs of our Queen. Good day." Faramir walked briskly from the room, making his way to his chambers. 

Was Éowyn trying to escape him by leaving for Edoras? Did she truly have feelings for him? Faramir realized suddenly that it did not matter what she felt for him. It could never be, and any delay of his departure would only put both of their reputations on the line. Hastily, Faramir pulled on a cloak and made his way to the stables.

As he rode out from the gates of Minas Tirith, Faramir turned around and took another look at the city. High upon the walls, he saw a blaze of golden light where Éowyn stood, watching him, long flowing hair caught in the wind. It was the first time he had ever seen her wearing it loose, and her appearance made his heart stop. With great pain he turned his horse back onto the road and left Minas Tirith.

*** 

Éowyn sat before the fire, gazing into the flames as if in a trance. The tears dripped slowly down her flushed cheek. It felt as though the life was slowly flowing back into her heart, and it was a painful process. For with the life flowing through her veins there was also pain, and it had been a long time sine Éowyn had allowed herself to feel pain. She could not longer fight it, or perhaps she did not want to. Curled up on a chair before the large fireplace in her private apartments, the rain beating against the windows, Éowyn realized that she had fallen in love.

She had watched him go. She had stood there, unable to say anything to make him stay, unable to leave with him. Trapped and caged, Éowyn had let love slip through her lily-white fingers. Faramir's grey eyes had seen into her very soul, his smile had made something inside her melt and soften. She would never see him again. He was far away, in the hills of Emyn Arnen, and soon he would forget her and the light would once again recede from her life. Just as she had found her heart, she felt it breaking.

She heard the door creak open. She had dismissed her handmaids for the night, so she was irritated by this intrusion. Wiping her tears away, Éowyn said, "I do not require anything, I would like to be alone." She heard no response. She felt the presence of another in the room, but could not understand their silence. Turning around quickly, she saw him.

Faramir stood before the door, staring at her. Their eyes met and in an instant, Éowyn knew she could not survive another night without his touch. Rising slowly, she went to him, all her reserve melting away.

"Éowyn, I…"he began, but she stopped his mouth with a kiss. The touch of his lips upon hers seemed to set Éowyn's heart on fire. Not breaking the kiss, Faramir put his arms around her, and Éowyn let herself sink into his embrace. She put her hands up to his face, daring for the first time to run her fingers through his rain-drenched hair. Their kiss seemed to suspend time; the world seemed to spin around them. Before Éowyn realized it, she was resting her head against his shoulder, and he was murmuring, "Éowyn, Éowyn…" in her ear.

"I love you," was all she could say as she stared up into his eyes, knowing that she would find pure love and understanding within them. He kissed her again, and she could not imagine a greater joy than that which she felt in his embrace. Taking his hand, she led him quickly into her bedchamber. He stopped at the entrance, staring deep into her eyes as if asking her if this was what she truly wanted. Éowyn searched her heart but could not find anything she wanted more. She was in love, and for the first time in her life, Éowyn had no regrets.

***

When Éowyn opened her eyes, she did not remember what had occurred the night before. All she knew was that for the first time, her heart was overburdened not with bitterness and grief, but with love and bliss. Then she felt a wave of happiness as she remembered the sweet touch of Faramir, and turned to look upon him, only to find him gone. After a few moments, fearing it had all been a dream, Éowyn heard him dressing quietly near the fireplace. He was buckling his sword around his waist when he saw her looking up at him, a warm smile spreading across his face. She returned his smile, but as he sat down next to her on the bed and began to stroke her long golden hair, a fear began to grow in her heart. She knew in her heart this could not last, and the thought of living the rest of her life as a stone statue now made her heart tremble in disgust. She would never willingly go back to the woman she was before…but what was to be done?

Faramir perceived her fear, and nodded slowly. "I know. We will have to find a way…we will have to find a way." His voice soothed her, his touch warmed her. She felt the defiance of the shieldmaiden stirring up inside of her once again, suddenly determined to follow her heart, determined that she would not give up the one thing in her life that really mattered to her. Not after so much pain. 

"I love you," she said again, as if it would explain everything. And indeed she saw a look of deep understanding on Faramir's face as he echoed her words, cupping her cheek with his hand. 

"It is a strange fate, that the moment I find the one thing in the world I need, I must give it away. You know, Éowyn… you know we cannot see each other again…we must not."

Éowyn knew. And yet in her heart she could not accept it. "How can I live without you now that you have made my life worth living?" Tears welled up in her eyes, half pain, half joy. Faramir kissed her forehead and sighed.

"We will find a way to live together, even if only in our hearts." Somehow these words comforted Éowyn, for she knew that as long as she knew Faramir loved her she would always feel safe. No one would ever know the deepest corners of her heart, and that is where she would always keep him. She put her hand over his heart and smiled.

Looking out the window, she saw the light beginning to grow in the sky and she knew Faramir had to leave. They kissed, and Faramir rose. She watched him as he left the room noiselessly, turning back only once to smile at her once more, as if fearing she was only a dream that would vanish as soon as he turned his back. She smiled back at him, and felt a rush of love such as she had never felt before, even in her first days of marriage with Aragorn. 

She settled back into her bed, watching the light creep onto the floor of her bedchamber, anticipating the sounds of her handmaids at any moment to disturb the peace that she felt in every fiber of her being. She did not expect to sleep, but as the moments went passed, she fell into a sweet slumber.

*** 

There seemed no room in her heart for guilt; she was so consumed by the love she felt. But as the weeks passed, the time of Aragorn's return grew closer and the thought of her husband was ever upon Éowyn's mind. She loved him, she knew, but not as she loved Faramir. And nothing could ever change that.

She had not seen Faramir since that morning. Court was no place for a secret romance, and Éowyn had no desire to force Faramir into the position of sneaking around the castle like a spy, just as Faramir had no desire to put her reputation on the line. He kept to his private apartments and office, and she saw him only from great distances on her walks through the garden. But in his absence her love only grew. The very thought of him made her heart flutter. Her handmaids, suspicious before of her strange behavior, were now completely bewildered to find her, a peaceful smile on her face, staring out of her bedroom window. They did not know she hoped to catch a glance at the Steward, thinking only that was happy that the King's arrival was now only a week away.

On the eve a week before Aragorn was to arrive, Éowyn sat at dinner, alone at the long table in the great hall. The wind rustled at the windows, signaling the approach of winter, and Éowyn ate quietly, thinking sweet thoughts about the many nights when Faramir had dined with her in this hall, always engaging her into conversation, always trying to make her at ease. _Perhaps_, she thought, _I loved him even then._

Just as she was thinking this, the door opened. 

"Elessar!" Éowyn said, rising and rushing over to her husband. She was in utter shock. In the past weeks he had become more of a thought than a real person, and now that he was before her Éowyn's mind went into a blur. He reached for her, and, after hesitating a moment, she submitted to his embrace. Looking into his eyes, searching for a reason why she could not love him, Éowyn found love. But it was not the love of understanding, and it was not love for her. It was the love from a King to his Queen, and when she recognized this, her resolve grew stronger. Faramir was the only man she would ever love with her whole heart, and as soon as she knew this she could smile at Aragorn and kiss him without fear or hesitation.

That night, she was once again in the arms of Aragorn, but their love for each other seemed shallow compared to the love she shared with the Steward. It was painful for Éowyn to now perform her duties as wife for Aragorn, knowing that their love was not true. Yet she knew, and it was a painful reflection, that she had chosen this fate. So when Aragorn left her bed in the earliest hours of the morning to start his work, Éowyn could not allow the cold bitterness to once again creep into her heart.

***

Éowyn did not know until winter set in that she was with child. Walking in the garden with her son one morning, she had suddenly felt faint and had been taken to the Houses of Healing, only to be told that she was carrying a child.

Lying in the same bed that she had once been healed in after the War of the Ring, Éowyn awaited Aragorn's arrival. The healers had called him as soon as she had been taken there, and now that she knew she was with child, she wished they had not. Her mind was swimming. A cold fear had settled over her, because she knew in her heart that the child she carried was not Aragorn's. She was panicked, and her heart called out, not for Aragorn, but for Faramir. She almost did send for him in the first moments after she heard the news, but soon regained her wits. No one knew of their love. No one could know. Éowyn would have to pretend that nothing had happened… everything now depended on a lie. 

She stared out the window on the grey morning, wishing that at any moment Faramir would rush in and kiss away all the fear that she now held in her heart. But when the door did open, Aragorn rushed in, immediately going to the healer that stood at the window and demanding to know the condition of his wife.

"I am fine, Elessar." Éowyn's voice was weak and as soon as Aragorn saw her lying in the bed he came over, his face filled with concern. 

Pulling a chair to her bedside and taking her hand in his, Aragorn said, "What happened?"

Éowyn looked up at the healer, and he quietly left the room. Avoiding in the stare of her husband, Éowyn sighed. Then, forcing a smile, she said, "Elessar…I am with child."

His smile was like a knife in Éowyn's heart. It spread across his face as his eyes filled with happy tears. Perhaps after their recent disappointment he had believed that Éowyn could give him no more children…but then she was not giving _him_ a child. He embraced her, saying "Éowyn I am overjoyed!" Éowyn felt as if she would faint again, as all the sadness, guilt and fear washed over her body. Aragorn felt her body swaying in his arms. "You must be very tired. You have not been eating properly for a breeding woman! You must stay here tonight and regain your strength. We will need to be careful." Aragorn had very rarely looked this youthful and happy, and it pained Éowyn to think that she was deceiving him. For a moment she could not help but lament what a horrible wife she had been to him. But a voice inside reminded her that Aragorn had not been the best husband to her… no matter who was to blame, everything was wrong. Éowyn felt her eyes filling with tears, and try as she might she could not suppress them.

"Elessar…I must be alone. I must sleep." She could see the confusion and worry on his face, but she could no longer stand his presence. She was afraid that any moment she might dissolve in sad tears, or worse reveal the truth.

"Of course." Éowyn turned from him, burying her head in the coverlet. Aragorn, bewildered by this strange and unexplained behavior, walked slowly from the room. Éowyn could hear him speaking with the healers in the hall, instructing them to keep watch on her. _So I am to be watched for the rest of my life, Elessar? Am I never to have a moment to myself_, she thought, bitterly. Clutching her stomach, Éowyn remembered the child she was carrying… Faramir's child. And this gave her strength, knowing that some part of Faramir was with her. _Yes_, she thought, _I am not alone._

***

Aragorn stared at Éowyn from across the table. Her strange behavior ever since her collapse had been worrying him, but he hoped that her return to her daily activities would revive her. Yet she only seemed to become more erratic, emotional and distant. "You do not want to announce our news to the people? May I ask why not?"

Éowyn felt on the verge on tears. She could not stand the thought of sharing her lie, her betrayal, with the people of Gondor. It was hard enough sharing it with her husband. His cold eyes seemed to penetrate her mind, seeking the source of her guilt and unhappiness. She felt it was only a matter of time before he found her out, and the dread that grew inside of her was only lessened by the strength the child inside of her seemed to give. "I did not say I did not want to announce it, Elessar. I simply wish to delay. I cannot bear all of the attention, not now."

Aragorn had not seen his wife so full of emotion in many years, and it frightened him. He knew that it was probably only the hormones of a breeding woman that were causing Éowyn's fits of tears and sadness, but he could not help but suspect something else. She had changed… he had not noticed it at first, but over the weeks he had realized that something inside of her had altered while he was away, and he wondered why. "Very well, Éowyn. I wish I knew why carrying this child fills you with fear. You know, of course, that I will be here for you."

"Will you? What of your planned trip to Rivendell in the spring? Will you cancel that trip, when I know you have yearned for that land since our marriage?" The bitterness in her words startled them both. Éowyn had never spoken aloud her suspicion that Aragorn still pined for the elf-maiden Arwen, and Aragorn wanted to believe that she did not notice his lingering regret for his lost love. 

Ignoring this outburst Aragorn said, "I will be by your side as often as my duties allow me to be. Éowyn, who do you push me away? What is wrong?"

"Nothing! And it is not I who first pushed away from this marriage." She paused. All the grievances of her heart that she had never uttered aloud before seemed to be coming out her mouth, unbidden. "I do not mean that. I just… I…" Aragorn took her hand from across the table and squeezed it.

"I have not forgotten the emotional passion breeding women are apt to hold. I understand." But he did not, not in his heart. He was confused, and try as he might he could not block out her words about their marriage. Éowyn pulled her hand away slowly. She remembered suddenly that she had arranged to meet Faramir in the gardens this night, and knew that a prolonged argument with Aragorn would make this impossible. So she decided to smile and agree with his words, even though she knew it was more than breeding madness that she spoke that night. They finished their dinner in silence, and when Aragorn rose to return to his study, Éowyn could not make eye contact with him. 

Once the door has shut and she heard Aragorn's footsteps echoing down the hall, Éowyn rose. She rushed out into the gardens, and even with her cloak on she shivered severely in the bitter cold of winter. She ran to the walls, and as she looked out over the Anduin, her tears began to flow down her cheeks, almost freezing on her pale cheek in the cold air. Before long she heard footsteps coming towards her, and turned to see Faramir. He had with him a blue mantle with stars on the hem and throat, which he placed around Éowyn without a word. Taking her arm, he led her to a secluded part of the gardens, where they would be safe from watchful eyes. Once safely in the protection of the trees, Faramir kissed her, his lips warming her more than any mantle could. His hands lingered on her face, and he wiped away the tears that lingered there. His calm countenance changed to one of fear when he saw the pain in her eyes.

"Éowyn, what is wrong?" Éowyn rested her head on his chest, letting his arms envelop her completely. She did not know what to say, she did not know what to do. She had never intended this, and she was suddenly struck by the desperate situation she was now in. She began to cry anew, and Faramir brought her closer to him. Finally her tears passed, and when she looked up into Faramir's eyes, she knew what had brought her to this pass: love. A love that had saved her from living death, the love that, in the end, was all that mattered to her.

"Faramir… I am carrying your child." Faramir's reaction was a mixture of pain and joy, and Éowyn knew what he felt: happy that the woman he loved was carrying his child, pained that he had broken a sacred vow, pained that everything was wrong. She should be his wife, and the news of their child should have filled him with unadulterated bliss. But now, joy was everywhere mingled with guilt and pain. Without a word, and tear glistening in his eyes, Faramir put his hand to Éowyn's abdomen and drew her closer to him, as if determined not to let go of her. He kissed her forehead, and Éowyn could believe for a moment, with Faramir beaming down on her and his hand cradling the child inside of her, that this was her real fate.

"Éowyn, does Aragorn know?" Her dream was shattered with the mention of Aragorn's name, and she looked away.

"He knows that I am with child. But he suspects nothing, nor will he." Faramir sighed. "Perhaps you should have left Minas Tirith when you had the chance, my gentle Prince."

"No, and don't ever think I regret staying. There have been times in my life when I have harbored regret in my heart, but not now. Never about this, never about you." He choked on the tears rising in his throat, and Éowyn clutched his arm. She blamed herself for bringing such a man to grief, who had already been through so much. But she took comfort in his words.

"What are we to do?" she said finally.

"There is nothing to be done. I love you more than my own life, but for your sake and the sake of our child I would not risk the wrath of the world to take you from Aragorn." His voice lingered on the words 'our child' and Éowyn felt a pang of joy in her heart, for no matter what the consequences were she loved Faramir and knew he would be the best father to her child she could ask for, if only he could be. "But I will not desert you here, to become cold and dead again," he continued, a hint of anger in his voice. He was angry at his father, at Aragorn, but most of all at fate. Would he never find happiness in this world, would he never be able to claim some little joy for himself? "I will not let go of the only person in this world who makes the shadows disappear and the sunlight stream into my heart. We have both come too far, through fear and death, to let go."

"I must go, Aragorn will retire soon. Faramir… I love you…I won't let go, I'll never…"

"I know," he said, rising and taking the mantle from her shoulders. And he did know, and that filled Éowyn with courage. In the light of the moon, Éowyn looked upon Faramir's face and knew she would die before she would stop loving him. And with such fatal thoughts their meeting ended, Faramir walking in the direction of his chambers, Éowyn walking briskly down the stone path to her marriage bed, and Aragorn.

*** 

The next morning she rose late, overcome by fatigue.  Aragorn was already gone, his side of the bed empty, a sign that pained her as much as it made her smile.  She got up, her handmaidens dressed her, and then she went to find nourishment.  She found Aragorn already eating, nodding to Éowyn as she entered the room.

"You let me sleep late, Elessar." She commented.

"Ay.  You looked as though nothing could wake you, so I decided to let your rest."

She smiled thinly.  "It seems as though I will never be making my own decisions about my own life ever again."

Aragorn stopped; he looked at her, his expression troubled.

"What are you trying to say, Éowyn?"

She sighed, discontent.  "I feel as though I am never allowed to make my own decisions anymore.  A few months ago, you started making all my decisions for me, and I have not been able to get a word in edgewise!"

"Éowyn, if I knew you felt this way-"

"That is part of the problem, Elessar!  You cannot know as you are never around to find out!"  Éowyn sat back in her chair grumpily.

Aragorn looked at her for a while.  "I know I am not around as much as either of us would like me to be.  I cannot change this…I have duties to attend."

Éowyn looked up at him.  His duties kept him from home, but they also kept Faramir there.  She now would rather have Faramir with her than Aragorn.

He stood up, walked over to her.  He put his hands over hers.  "I shall try to be around more as you come closer to birth.  I do not want you to be upset, Éowyn, it is not good for the baby."

Éowyn nodded coolly, accepting his hands squeezing hers.  He walked away, and any warmth that was contained in his embrace was gone forever.  Éowyn longed for Faramir.

She stood up quickly, unable to sit still any longer.  She was aggravated, her mind raging against Aragorn.  How dare he presume that he could make all of her decisions for her!  She had gone from being a cold shieldmaiden to a cold queen.  She was nothing more than a statue fit for breeding.  So be it.  Aragorn was now no more to her than her King, her ruler.  That gave him the right to make decisions to change others lives, yes.  But, that did not give him the right to change hers.  She was his wife.  She no longer wanted that.  She was his queen, and she no longer desired that.  She only wanted to live with Faramir, and raise her two children.

Yet, she had to remain content with being a cold statue still, so Aragorn would never know the truth about the child.


	4. Uncaged

Uncaged

Aragorn walked down the hall, after leaving his office.  He was deeply troubled by the night before.  He could not understand Éowyn any more.  She was the Shieldmaiden again.  A figure of porcelain, as beautiful as the spring, but with a heart filled with such a chill.  He knew he would not be able to save her heart when he brought her from the shadow to life.  From the beginning, she had made it obvious he held her heart.  It pained him to see the hope in her eyes, when the one he loved, so far away, had a different hope in her heart.  Through it all, The fair Lady of Imladris had left with her father, taking the last shred of his broken heart with her.  When he looked at Éowyn's eyes, filled with such devotion, he had hoped that would help mend his heart.

Instead, he found that they both went deeper and deeper into a darkness that only those who had loved and lost knew.  He had loved Arwen and lost her.  Éowyn had loved him, or had he been mistaken?  Deeply, Aragorn felt as though she never really had loved him.  Her eyes were empty to him.  Her heart bare.  It had been filled once, he knew.  He knew she was capable of more feeling, as she had felt a glimpse of it when she met him.

The only thing he could conclude…was that she had loved and lost another.

"She is not going to Rohan?" A woman's voice reached his ears from another room. It was answered by what he recognized as the voice of one of his advisors, Rassener.  
"Not while she is with a new child."

"With child!  I was wondering why the Steward did not leave for Ithilien!"

"Andreth!  Why do you insist on keeping the rumors alive?"

Aragorn felt himself freeze in his steps.  He felt his heart would burst.  It was cold as ice, but pumping so fast.

"Oh, everyone already knows that the Prince is in love with the Queen."

"But to tarnish her reputation-!"

"She does it on her own.  She leaves her sweet little boy with me, the one who actually comes from a line of kings, to run out to the garden with the Steward!  Who knows what they do together!"

Aragorn could not handle another second worth of this talk.  He quickly, in a loud voice, called out Andreth's name.

After much scuffling, Andreth quickly appeared in the hallway.

"You called, m'Lord?"  She bowed hastily.

Aragorn steeled himself against his own thoughts.

"Have I not made it clear that the Queen of Gondor's name is to be spoken of only in the highest regard?"

Andreth's face flushed.  "You did, m'Lord."

He looked at Andreth for a long time.  He sighed.  "I understand that you do not like the Queen."

"I believe she treats neither your nor your son in the manner you both deserve."

"Does that mean you should slander her?"

"No, m'Lord."

His eyes narrowed at her.  She could not bring her face to look at his. "I will hear no more of your gossip.  Do not let me ever hear it again."

"Yes, m'Lord."  She started to walk away from him, quickly as possible.

"Andreth."

Andreth turned to him, his face stern, no remorse to be seen.

"You do not walk away from the King when is talking to you."

"Yes, m'Lord."  She said meekly.  Aragorn almost felt a sense of satisfaction.  Someone had to feel his pain somehow.

***

Éowyn woke the next morning, startled out of her sleep, by what, she did not know.  Sweet was sticky across her face, her breathing heavy.  What had stirred her from her sleep?  What caused her body to be so scared?

She heard movement from the doorway.  Figuring that Andreth had heard her awake, she shifted in her bed, feeling all the weight on her side.  She sighed, knowing that Aragorn was gone.  Gone to a memory of love he longed for.  Now she had time to be with the love she longed for.

"Andreth, I will bathe this morning, and then would like to brunch with the Lord Faramir, as I do not have the King's company."  A soft smile came to her face as she said his name.

"I doubt the King's absence would keep you from wanting to see Prince Faramir."  The voice said calmly.  Éowyn sat up quickly, wheeling around, shock on her face.

"Elessar!  I thought you were in Rivendell!"  He wasn't even looking at her.  His face was stern, cold, his eyes looking past her, at the King's office he had always known was out the window.  Éowyn felt touched by the coldness, felt bare and naked to look at.  She tightened her covers around herself, hugging them to her chest.

"I was supposed to be.  As much as you would wish I were."

She felt her breath give way in her chest.  "As much as I wish?"  Funny, as now it was true.  "I have always only wanted you to be here!  With me!"

"Maybe once you did!  No longer."

"I do not know what you are talking about, Elessar."  Eowyn's use of his formal name cut him like a knife for the first time."

"I have heard things, m'Lady.  I have heard from several people…disturbing rumors concerning you and Lord Faramir."  She knew he was trying to be strong.  She couldn't hear his voice falter, but she could feel it.

She couldn't help but allow a small laugh, knowing that he did not have as much power over her as he thought.  "I am the Queen, Elessar," she know felt as though she were talking to a small child.  That is how she now saw Aragorn, standing there, trying to hold onto his last dignity, so intent on finding the truth, even if it hurt him.  She almost felt like goading him.  "Of course there will be rumors about me!  The courtiers are going to try and find as much to slander about me as possible!  I am a Shieldmaiden of Rohan, and they are the proper nobility of Gondor!  Faramir is the first person they thought of!  He is the most obvious!"

His eyes finally turned to hers.  They gave away his weakness.  "I do not want to leave angry with you, Éowyn."

She looked down at her bed, the sheets were in waves, and Éowyn wanted to be lost in them.  No, she couldn't let herself drown.  Aragorn was not going to get the best of her!  "Do you want me to admit to some awful scandal?  Is that what would make you happy?  For me to say, 'Yes, Elessar, I let the Steward into our bed, the one that you and I rarely share.  Oh, and by the way, he is the father of this baby.'  Is that what you wish to hear from me?"

"I only wish for the truth."

"The truth you want to hear.  I refuse to meet you at your level, Elessar.  I conduct myself in an appropriate manner as the Queen of Gondor.  Furthermore, I have nothing else to say to you on this matter."  She got out of bed, walked right past him.  As she passed him, he grabbed her arm.  She stopped, turning her eyes, stern as steel towards his face, angry more with himself than her.

"I will not have my Queen walk away from me in this manner."  She heard the rise in his voice.  He was failing to keep his façade, his pride cracking.  She was witnessing the fall of the man trying to be the king.

Without breaking herself, she coolly replied.  "If you will let go of me, Aragorn, I have to meet the Steward for brunch."  The way she said his name made him realize the lack of power he had with her.  He knew she no longer saw him as her king.  The shock made him drop his hand from her arm.  She only walked away.

He could not let her walk away.

***

It took seven months for the rumors to die away, and by then, Éowyn was fully pregnant, at nearly a month until birth.  She had to spend less and less time with Faramir, but they knew it had to happen.  Faramir smiled a greeting at her during a day at Court, and Éowyn knew that when they were together, it would be all the more wonderful.

Aragorn had backed away from his accusations, knowing that the stress was not good for the baby.  At that point, he put aside the fear the baby was to be a Steward, and wanted the child to grow healthy, as the nobles needed to see this child as the child of a king.  That was the one thing Éowyn felt she could be grateful about, that Aragorn backed off, and wanted the baby to be happy.  She was growing more worried everyday though, as she was becoming more and more full with her pregnancy, and yet, the baby had not moved.  Faramir knew something was wrong, as he always did, and he knew it had nothing to do with him or Aragorn.  He saw the weariness in her face, the tiredness in her smile.  She was growing as weak as she was strong.  He could not bear it for much longer.

After he had given a toast to the King, for having another successful year in his reign, he quietly stepped to the back, watching the courtiers laugh, dance, and sing.  He wondered at how his own legs moved, as he found himself standing in back of the Queen.

"Éowyn, I know something is wrong.  If you do not tell me, I shall be sick with worry."

She sighed.  "Are you the only who has to be sick over my state?"

He looked at her for a while.  "What is the matter with our child?"  Éowyn closed her eyes.  She was warmed by his statement.  He had to be a father in hiding.  That made no difference to him.  His hand slowly, gently brushed against hers, and cold hand touching his warm one.  It reminded her of when their hands met at the house of healing.  He did not know if she had noticed this.  She had, and it scared her then.  It scared her a little now, but mostly comforted her.

"I can't get anything past you, can I?"  She smiled weakly.  His expression did not change from one of concern.

"Éowyn," was all he said.  Éowyn was all he had to say.  She wanted to throw herself into his arms.  She wanted the rest of the world to go away.

All she could do was shudder.  "The baby has yet to move."  Her voice cracked under her weight.  She swallowed.  She would not loose her composure there.  Not now, not ever.

He closed his eyes.  "I never moved either."

She turned her head to his.  She did not expect that kind of compassion.  Yet, it was exactly what she needed.  "The baby will move for you, Faramir."

He looked at her for a minute.  His face registered fear.  He knew exactly what she intended.

"Not here, Éowyn."

She shook her head.  No, not here.  She did not understand how it happened, her mind filled with great emotion.  They were in a room, and he had his arms around her.  She buried her face in his shoulder.  She finally let herself free.

"Faramir!  I was so scared!  I thought surely there must be something wrong!  And E-Elessar, he puts up this façade in front of everyone.  Nothing should ever happen to the Queen and her child!  No, everything must always be perfect!  We must have the perfect little life, I have to be the perfect Queen-!"

He closed his eyes, listening to her voice fill his head.  Even when trampled by tears, her voice was melody of all he missed.

She looked up at him.  Her tears staining her cheeks.  "I am in a worse cage then ever before.  I fear the baby will be in a cage for the rest of her life!"

His heart couldn't help but be lifted as she said that.  He smiled at her, placing a gentle hand against her womb.  "She will live in the free air, and she will breath the sweet scent of life."

At that moment, there was no turning back for Éowyn.  She fell completely in love with Faramir, without any doubt in her mind, without any remorse, and without any feelings for Aragorn.  He could see the change in her face, the light in her eyes.  He knew he would love her forever.

And the baby moved.  A look of surprise came to her eyes, quickly turning into excitement.  His face was elated.

"I knew you could make her move!"  Éowyn said, laughter coming through the tears.

Faramir laughed as well, leaning his head down.  Their foreheads met, their eyes smiled.

"She is your daughter." Éowyn whispered to him.  Her hand clasped over his, still on her womb.

"This, I have known all along."  A voice came suddenly.  They looked at the direction of the voice.  Eowyn's body filled with fear.  The baby stopped moving.

Aragorn stood there, his hand on the hilt of Anduril.  He was not looking at Éowyn.  He couldn't even if he tried.  He only stared at Faramir, his eyes shining with anger.  Faramir tensed.  He had run over several possible scenarios for how his king would find the truth.  Nothing could have prepared him for the real thing.  Aragorn was standing there, silent as the grave, holding Anduril.  Faramir knew he could get to his sword quickly.  He would fight to the death for Éowyn.

"Éowyn, say something."  Aragorn almost pleaded.

"Am I to confess my quilt in having another man's child?  Be burned at the stake for my crime of treason?"  Her eyes stayed strong as her voice filled with tears. "Am I to apologize for being in love?"

Faramir moved so he was between her and Aragorn.

Aragorn seemed to find this amusing.  "Are you to fight me for Eowyn's honor?  You have already stolen it, wasted it."

Faramir looked at Aragorn.  Aragorn suddenly felt as though he were a blank open page.  Faramir was reading his very heart.  He hated it when Faramir did that.

"You are a good man, Aragorn.  Do not do this to yourself.  Do not do this to Éowyn.  To your son."  Faramir spoke in a low tone, words that went straight into Aragorn's heart.  He forced himself not to feel them.

"Not good enough for the Queen."

Éowyn almost laughed.  Faramir kept his gaze on Aragorn.  "No, just not the right one for Éowyn.  You are the King.  Your Queen no longer lives here."

Éowyn knew that Arwen would be brought into the argument.  She did not know it would be by Faramir.  She knew he was smart, but not to what level.  She marveled at her love.  Absolutely nothing past his mind that he couldn't understand and know.

Aragorn felt himself slipping.  He felt it low for Faramir to bring up Arwen.  "Éowyn and I were fine until you made her fall for you!"

"Éowyn has not been fine since the day she met you!  You were not meant to be with her!  You were born to be with a fair Elf Maiden who sailed to the West.  I know this Aragorn, just by looking into your heart!"

"Arwen is gone, and I can never have her!"  Aragorn almost wept at saying this.  This was the first time he had vocalized his defeat.  The first time he had truly mentioned the one woman he would always want.  "And now, I am King.  I have my Queen.  I am supposed to have her love as well."

"But, she doesn't love you!"  Faramir found the words coming out before he had time to understand them.  He felt as though his breath was being choked out of him.  He couldn't understand it.  Aragorn seemed to blur in front of him.  Aragorn stood there, about the break, shatter to the ground.  He had never felt so lost.

Faramir turned, realized where this loss was coming from.  Éowyn was backing away from both.  Her hand on her womb.  The eyes of two men were captured with fear.

"Faramir?"  She whispered.  He felt her intense pain.  He did not reach her before she fell.

***

Her mind was going in an out, weaving around her sorrows, around her pain.  She could not understand what was happening.  She was lying on a bed, in the Houses of Healing.  No one was in sight.  She wanted to scream for Faramir.  She could only gasp.  At the sound, both men came dashing into her room.

If it weren't for her intense pain, she would have laughed.

The pain was coming in waves.

"She is almost ready."  A voice said from somewhere.  Éowyn felt as though her head was floating.

She was about to give birth.  Nearly a month and a half early.  Her eyes widened in fear.  A cold cloth dampened her forehead, a warm hand took hers.

Another wave of pain flowed through her, stronger this time.  She gave a scream of pain, but it was mingled with another.  Crying.  That of a baby.  She blinked, trying to see her daughter.

"Faramir?"  She whispered.

She could feel his smile.  She could feel Aragorn's tears.

"She is beautiful, Éowyn.  Just like you."  She could barely hear him, but knew it was Faramir's voice.

She felt herself relax.  Her breath was not as strong, not as steady.  She was giving herself away now.

Silent tears fell from both men, as they watched her slip away.  The baby in Faramir's arms would grow to be of her mother's beauty, and her father's mind.

Éowyn felt comfort in her last thoughts, as she knew them to be true.

Beautiful.  Just like her.


	5. Epilogue

Epilogue

The stars seemed blotted out as the clouds descended on Minas Tirith, the raindrops mingling with the tears on Faramir's face. His heart seemed to explode with pain within his chest with each gasping breath. His eyes strained to find the path as he ran to the only place in the city of stone he would ever feel whole. He found the place deep in the gardens, the place where he had held Éowyn in his arms, where he had heard her voice call his name, where they had been together. Flinging himself on the cold and wet ground, he began to scream with pain into the earth, emptying his heart of all his pain so that he would never feel again. 

But just as he began to feel numb, he stopped. _My life cannot end with hers_, he thought. He remembered how he had watched her fade and grow cold. And he knew that he would have to feel the pain of this parting in order to feel his love for her rush through his veins. His eyes filled with tears, he turned his face towards the sky. 

Footsteps sounded in front of him. And he knew who it was, for it could only be one person.

"Aragorn," he said, mustering the strength to speak. The night was dark, and he could only dimly make out Aragorn as he approached him. But he could sense that Aragorn was crying. Aragorn hesitated before sitting down on the ground next to the man who had taken his wife from him, but in the end he found he could no longer stand.

The two man sat there, crying and broken. They had both loved Éowyn in their own ways and her death filled both men with the pain of loss. This pain united them, and though there was still anger in both their hearts for the other and for themselves, in that moment they shared a bond closer than friendship.

It was Aragorn who first found the strength for words. He did not know what force compelled him to speak through his agony, but he found himself saying, "She was never meant for this life. I should have suspected it when I first saw her strength of spirit. You, I think, knew it all along. I don't think I wanted to see it…" Aragorn's voice faltered as he thought of all the times she had reached for him as her heart withered in her breast and he had walked away.

The clouds began to break and the sun began to rise above the mountains. A new day was dawning and for both men the world was changed. Aragorn finally looked at Faramir, and he was surprised that his heart warmed towards him. Aragorn saw Faramir's genuine pain at the loss of his love, a loss that he knew only too well. At that moment, Aragorn wanted nothing more than to ease Faramir's pain.

He cleared his throat. "There is the matter… of _your_ daughter to discuss." Faramir's breath caught in his throat. In his pain he had almost blocked out the knowledge that he now had a child, Éowyn's child, and with that child there was the hope of a future. He wiped away his tears and slowly began to look around him. The world had not ended, he found, and he also found that his heart still beat, his lungs still drew in breath, his eyes still saw.

Aragorn continued: "Éowyn is… she's dead. The Queen is dead. And the only people who know that the child she carried is alive… are you, the healers, and I. I do not know what Éowyn would have wanted for the child. I did not know much about her, it seems…"

Faramir looked into Aragorn's eyes. "She would not want for our daughter to grow up in the silent chill of Minas Tirith. I do not want that for my child." Faramir's voice was strong, his purpose set. He was finally standing up for what he wanted; the power within him was finally asserting itself.

"I cannot have Éowyn… I knew in my heart that I would only ever have her soul; her body was lost long ago. But I will have our child, and I will raise her in freedom, peace and happiness. I will take her to Emyn Arnen where she can know the fragrant blooms of wildflowers and the sound of rushing water over the river. I will do this Aragorn, because it is what Éowyn should have had."

Aragorn nodded, his spirit waning. The fatigue of long life weighed on him heavily now as never before. He had lived to lose the love of those around him and now he doubted his purpose and the meaning of his life as never before.  He asked Faramir's assistance to stand up and together they made the silent march back to the Houses.

***

Éowyn, Queen of Gondor, was prepared for burial as Faramir rode out from the city limits, accompanied by a woman carrying a small child. He excited little suspicion or inspection as he left Minas Tirith, as most of the city had gathered on the uppermost level to hear the sad tidings of Queen's death and the loss of her child. Faramir once again turned back to look up at the walls of the city, but he did not see Éowyn there. He would never see her again. 

The child began to cry and the woman who carried the baby girl began to comfort her. "Begging your pardon, my lord, but what is her name?" the woman, who would act as a wet nurse to the newborn, asked. 

Faramir looked at the child. He was surprised that he had never thought of a name in all those months that she had been the foremost thing on his mind. Suddenly he knew what her name had to be, to make up for all that was wrong… for all that had happened. "Her name is Finduilas. But she will not share her fate."

The End.


End file.
